A "Far Cry" from the Source

If you've played (and been relatively active in the community of) PC Games in the past five years, then you've probably heard of Far Cry, the game that made island vistas and free-roaming gameplay a realistic possibility. Well if you've also read Two Ton's articles for the past 5 days, then you probably know where this is going.

Far Cry has been made into a movie, and is achieving theatrical release, next Friday, August 1st...and since Germany and German companies are plastered all over the release details and business information, it only took a quick glance to confirm the most God-awful fate a videogame movie can acquire: Director (if such a term could be used without choking on your own vomit) Uwe Boll.

The bastard has struck again and used the classic German tax-evasion loophole to make his movie at a budget of $30,000,000. The theatrical release mentioned earlier is for the United States so if you're (un)lucky enough to live near Boll's private theater, then I doubt you're going to see much in the way this film (piece of shit). I'm going to embed the trailer in this article so you can watch it without having to leave the safe-haven of our little enclave, because I honestly care about all of your well-beings and don't want to see you venturing off to Boll's territory to watch his sado-masochistic interpretation of videogame films. It also stars Til Schweiger as Jack Carver, the protagonist (let's hope...you know what, screw that. Hope's got enough to worry about then to be shipped off to Boll-world). It's also got that bald guy who was the general in Stargate SG-1. Maybe he should just look into being typecast and get away from this monstrosity.

Far Cry - Bande annonce officielle
by info-mods

If you've survived this trailer, kudos. In fact, email me and I'll send you a virtual prize, because that's just super-human...see what I did there? If you watched the trailer you did, if not...don't worry, it's not worth it. Peace out, kids, keep it real, and let's get ready to start a petition to officially shut down Uwe Boll, because my cinematic and videogame loving heart can't take much more of this. God Bless you Valve and the peace of mind you give me with Half-Life.